Raising Unicorns | Jessica S. Marquis | Review

Raising Unicorns | Jessica S. Marquis | Review

• Sunday, 23 March 2014

“Raising Unicorns. Your Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Running a Successful – and Magical! – Unicorn Farm. Includes the Rainbow-filled Principles of Unicornomics!”

That, my dear mythological-loving friends, is what this marvelous book says on the front cover. I can’t quite remember where I saw this book for the first time, but I knew straight away that it was imperative to purchase it, knowing that my well being would be significantly better after reading it. And I was right.

Raising Unicorns is just what it says it is: a guide to starting and running a Unicorn farm, and having read this book in one exciting sitting just last week after I ripped the packet from mailman’s terrified hands (my response to his wide-eyed confusion was to say, in a hushed, slightly psychotic voice ‘I’m going to raise unicorns; this is the manual’), I have decided that I now want to run a magical farm. But seriously, this book was simply the most wonderful and sunshine-filled how-to book I’ve ever – and probably will ever – read.

Before the book really gets started, there is a short quiz/questionnaire that you have to read to determine what kind of unicorn farmer you are (or even if you are one at all). My result was ‘Mostly Bs: Que Sera, Sera’, which told me that ‘You take business and life as it comes and cheerfully glide among the candy-coated clouds in a blissful state of unconditional acceptance. You get to hang out with unicorns! Why wouldn’t you be happy all the time?” And for a manual that tells you how to raise these spectacular creatures, it was pretty accurate, I thought.

There are 4 main parts to this manual (Strategy, Caring for your Unicorns, Implementation, and Diagnosing Success), each with several chapters containing various topics and handy tips and hints along the way. In amongst these are Testimonials from people who have had great experiences with their Unicorns farms, and Case Studies of people who, unfortunately, did not. ‘Wisdom from a Retired Unicorn Famer’ also makes an appearance throughout, as does Fancy Fun Facts and short and sweet Unicornomics Principles. The diagrams and pictures scattered on this book’s sweet pages are extremely helpful and beautiful drawn (thanks to Kevin Hedgpeth).

Through reading this book I have not only learnt the pros and cons, the ups and downs, the ins and outs and the yays and neighs (ha! Good pun, Anjali...*rolls eyes at self* ...cross it out...) nays of raising unicorns, but I have learnt a few very specific things which I will briefly share with you now. There are 4 kinds of unicorns, and a horse with a cardboard cone strapped to its forehead is not counted as one.  Unicorn farmers do not chew on a strand of hay, they chew on red licorice. Trojan Unicorns are fun to make and effective at spying on the competition.   And you can’t get blood from a turnip, but unicorns can.

If your goal in life is to have a Unicorn Farm, or if you are mildly interested in the concept, or even if you simply want a light-hearted, sparkle-filled read, then this is the book for you.  I defy anyone who says that they have read this book cover to cover and have not a) felt the intense desire to run out and purchase a unicorn, b) been so happy about everything that a unicorn has simply materialized in front of them out of sheer joyous energy, or c) come to believe in the existence of Unicorns 110%.

‘Is this book really that awesome?’ you ask.

Yes, yes it is. Even my own unicorn thinks so:

This review was written by regular reviewer Anjali, get to know her here. 

Photos (badly) taken by Anjali. Sorry, I didn't iron the white sheet. :)