“Raising
Unicorns. Your Step-by-Step Guide to Starting and Running a Successful – and
Magical! – Unicorn Farm. Includes the Rainbow-filled Principles of
Unicornomics!”
That, my
dear mythological-loving friends, is what this marvelous book says on the front
cover. I can’t quite remember where I saw this book for the first time, but I
knew straight away that it was imperative to purchase it, knowing that my well
being would be significantly better after reading it. And I was right.
Raising Unicorns is just what it says it is: a guide to
starting and running a Unicorn farm, and having read this book in one exciting
sitting just last week after I ripped the packet from mailman’s terrified hands
(my response to his wide-eyed confusion was to say, in a hushed, slightly
psychotic voice ‘I’m going to raise unicorns; this is the manual’), I have
decided that I now want to run a magical farm. But seriously, this book was
simply the most wonderful and sunshine-filled how-to book I’ve ever – and probably
will ever – read.
Before the
book really gets started, there is a short quiz/questionnaire that you have to
read to determine what kind of unicorn farmer you are (or even if you are one
at all). My result was ‘Mostly Bs: Que Sera, Sera’, which told me that ‘You
take business and life as it comes and cheerfully glide among the candy-coated
clouds in a blissful state of unconditional acceptance. You get to hang out
with unicorns! Why wouldn’t you be happy all the time?” And for a manual that
tells you how to raise these spectacular creatures, it was pretty accurate, I
thought.
There are 4
main parts to this manual (Strategy, Caring for your Unicorns, Implementation,
and Diagnosing Success), each with several chapters containing various topics
and handy tips and hints along the way. In amongst these are Testimonials from
people who have had great experiences with their Unicorns farms, and Case
Studies of people who, unfortunately, did not. ‘Wisdom from a Retired Unicorn
Famer’ also makes an appearance throughout, as does Fancy Fun Facts and short
and sweet Unicornomics Principles. The diagrams and pictures scattered on this
book’s sweet pages are extremely helpful and beautiful drawn (thanks to Kevin
Hedgpeth).
Through
reading this book I have not only learnt the pros and cons, the ups and downs,
the ins and outs and the yays and neighs (ha! Good pun, Anjali...*rolls eyes at self* ...cross it out...) nays of raising unicorns, but I have learnt a
few very specific things which I will briefly share with you now. There are 4
kinds of unicorns, and a horse with a cardboard cone strapped to its forehead
is not counted as one. Unicorn farmers
do not chew on a strand of hay, they chew on red licorice. Trojan Unicorns are
fun to make and effective at spying on the competition. And you can’t get blood from a turnip, but
unicorns can.
If your
goal in life is to have a Unicorn Farm, or if you are mildly interested in the
concept, or even if you simply want a light-hearted, sparkle-filled read, then
this is the book for you. I defy anyone
who says that they have read this book cover to cover and have not a) felt the
intense desire to run out and purchase a unicorn, b) been so happy about
everything that a unicorn has simply materialized in front of them out of sheer
joyous energy, or c) come to believe in the existence of Unicorns 110%.
‘Is this
book really that awesome?’ you ask.
Yes, yes it
is. Even my own unicorn thinks so:
This review was written by regular reviewer Anjali, get to know her here.
Photos (badly) taken by Anjali. Sorry, I didn't iron the white sheet. :)
